Emotional Eating

It's been a rough couple of weeks, especially this last week. I've been on an emotional roller-coaster, and not the fun kind. I'm not ready to divulge details yet, but suffice it to say that I'm really struggling right now.

And of course, I'm finding myself drawn to food to comfort me. Really bad food. Chips and sweets mostly.

This week alone, I've eaten an entire tray of brownies by myself. And each time I ate one or two or three, I felt gross afterward. But I kept going back for more. Day after day. Thankfully, now they are gone. Because I ATE THEM ALL.

Until all this drama calms down, I don't know how to curb my emotional eating. I feel like everything is spinning out of control, out of MY control. And I don't know how to reign everything back in.

For now, since the drama is here to stay, I wish I could manifest my stress in ways other than eating junk food. I wish I was one of those people that cleaned their house from top to bottom, or threw out a bunch of stuff they don't need. Those are healthy ways of dealing with stress.

But me....I gotta eat.

A Tough Week

Today is a great day. After having a pretty crappy week, it is exactly what I needed to keep me going.

It all started last Saturday. We went out to dinner, despite my argument that it would be hard to avoid eating something yummy bad for me. We had plans the next day to go bowling with friends and then to Pizza Hut afterward. Their choice, not mine. So I didn't want to be bad Saturday night, when I knew Sunday was unavoidable. But we went, and my DH promised we would skip out on the pizza.

Then comes Sunday. "Do we have to skip Pizza Hut? Everyone else is going!" *sigh* So we go. And I have to say, it was some of the best pizza I've had in awhile. But I was so mad at myself for being talked into eating out twice.

Tuesday night rolls around and we have to do some shopping. We normally don't do this during the week, but our contractor needed something for the house, so a trip to Home Depot was necessary. We had a disagreement about the house on the way there, putting us both in bad moods. It was late by the time we were finished and I was still irritated so a sit down restaurant was out of the question. Instead, we got Chinese on the way home.

It was so yummy. And I didn't do too bad. Egg drop soup is okay, without the noodles. And moo-shu chicken just has cabbage, eggs, onions and scallions, so overall, the meal wasn't horrible. Plus, I put more than half of it in the fridge, which my husband later ate. But that's on him.

Getting Back on Plan

Sunday was a test and I failed miserably.

Once ever month, my husband, who went to culinary school and used to work in restaurants, makes a huge meal for the martial arts school that he attends. There is usually a theme to the meal; this month was breakfast. He almost always insists that I go. It's a long day of cooking, then eating and socializing, talking about the status of the school and then cleaning up. So instead of sitting at home alone all day long, I generally go with him.

This Sunday was the first meal since we started our low carb diet. I didn't want to go because, even though they were having bacon & eggs, they were also serving french toast, biscuits & gravy etc. Again, he insisted I go, so I told myself that I would eat the bacon, eggs and sausage, but no more. But of course, I ate the french toast as well. He even made a strawberry sauce to go over it. Yum!

It was the first sugar I've had since the January 1. To say it tasted yummy would be a grave understatement. I thoroughly enjoyed the meal and the time spent with friends. But afterward, I was so mad at myself for eating so much. I was practically in tears because I felt so fat.

Then I realized that it wasn't so bad.

That was the only meal I had that day. No breakfast or dinner. So the calories and carbs consumed in that meal were all I had to calculate. And sure it was a much higher number than the previous week, but it still wasn't worth getting so upset over.

The morale of this story though comes from Monday. I woke up determined to get back on plan. And I did. I only ate the things we had bought for our new lifestyle. I didn't let that one meal ruin everything we've been working so hard for.

I'm down 10 pounds now and that one meal is not going to ruin it. Sure, I may have to face not having a loss this week, or even worse a gain, but that's going to happen every week. I'm going to have bad days, even bad weeks. But if I move past it and get back on plan, I will succeed.

A Minor Setback

So....I was doing really great for a total of 4 hours. I did all the research online. My lunch was within my point range and I had lots of good intentions.

I came home and moved the coffee table out of the way, so I could pull out Wii Fit. I moved the exercise bike into a more usable position. And I changed into comfy clothes that I could work out in.

But things went down hill from there. Instead of starting right away, I sat down at the computer. Big mistake! I was only going to look at a few blogs before getting started. Unfortunately, I landed on a page that showed pictures of these yummy looking cupcakes in ice cream cones.
That made me remember the ice cream in the fridge. It was bought before I really wanted to try going on a diet. So I made an ice cream cone. After that, it was like, "well I've already messed up, so I may as well enjoy it. I'll start tomorrow." I had a huge bowl of cereal and then later ate some Ramen.

Now I'm sitting here feeling stuffed to the gills. And I hate myself for it. Every time I try to limit myself, I end up going all out. I hate the restriction, so I sabotage myself.

I hope I can pick myself up after this setback. I'd like to get on track tomorrow. I don't want to keep making excuses for myself.