I saw a picture of myself today that just made me sick. It was a close up shot of my face that my husband took. We took pictures of each other taking pictures. Silly, yes, but still fun.
Till I saw the photo. Most of my face is covered up by the camera. But you get a really nice view of my double chin. It's HUGE. There's a reason why I don't like getting my pictures taken and this is it. They make me feel awful when looking at them.
My mother-in-law wants to get a family portrait done soon. But I *really* don't want to because I'm the fattest person in the family and I know it will turn out awful. I hate depriving her of something she really wants and something she has every right to have. There are no pictures of my husband and I on display at his parent's house.
His mother has a picture of her daughter and her husband on display in the family room for everyone to see. It's a huge photo and I absolutely hate it. It hurt my feelings that she would put it on display when she doesn't have one of us. But then I realized that it's my fault that there isn't one of my husband and I up there as well.
I'm visiting my family is less than two weeks. It's the first most of them have seen me since last Christmas. I'm dreading it because I'm the fattest in that family too. I hate this. I hate this life.
But one glance at the weigh-in page will show that in the past 2 months, I've done nothing to change it.
Lord, please give me the strength to change my life.