Saturday, April 24, 2010

Food Confessions

I can't figure out why exactly, but I've had a tough week. Every night when we've discussed dinner plans, I've wanted spaghetti. And I've been thinking about eating ice cream and breads too. Thankfully, we don't have anything in the house that would be that bad if I ate it. I could binge and eat a lot, but it would be on apples, sugar free jolly ranchers, beef jerky etc.

I went so far as to look in the cupboard to see if we had the ingredients for spaghetti. Thankfully, while we had a variety of noodles, we didn't have sauce. Then, when we were at the grocery yesterday, I actually went down the pasta aisle. But my husband pulled me away from the sauce before I could put it in the cart. He's been so great. 

I can't figure out why I'm sitting here wanting cereal this morning for breakfast. Why do I want to cheat? Sure, it's not always easy, but the rewards have been awesome. I can say that I've lost over 30 pounds. I've been able to go down a size in my jeans. Some of my old shirts that used to be too tight fit okay now.

It's not temptation, because there's nothing here to tempt me. I want things we don't have. But my mind keeps telling me these are the things I want, that I won't be happy until I get them.

I know that if I were to eat ice cream or spaghetti that it would be yummy. And five minutes after eating it, I would feel awful. Guilty. I'd be mad at myself, mad for eating it, mad for giving in, for being weak.

I know all these things and yet, I still want the stupid spaghetti. I feel gross even feeling like this. Admitting it makes me feel like a fool. I was hoping that by putting this out there, that it would make me feel better. That I might overcome whatever this is. Or maybe at least understand it a little better.


  1. You have absolutely nothing to feel ashamed of. you've had some strong cravings and resisted them. You should feel proud of yourself for that!

    Maybe analyzing this craving, though, will help you to overcome it on a deeper level than just not eating spaghetti. Why do you crave it? Do you have any emotional associations for spaghetti in particular? Was it a meal you would have because of anything specific? If nothing else, maybe there is some nutrient you get from the spaghetti or the sauce that your body needs and is making you crave it. Look over your diet for the past few days and see if there are any deficits.

    You are doing fabulously, don't lose heart.

  2. As you know by now, i'm not for restricting anything!! Have some spaghetti - with whole wheat pasta & either extra lean ground beef or chicken!! I just put a recipe on my little mrs married blog for something similar & it was delicious! It includes homemade Marinara Sauce & i figured up the calories per serving to be less than 200. It's really good, i'm just saying! :)

    I'm really proud of you & you've lost more weight than i have. I'm just iffy about diets that restrict things. Maybe you are craving spaghetti b/c your body actually NEEDS carbs! Carbs are not the devil!

    But if you decide to stick w/ Adkins, that's cool too. I just hate that you are miserable. My new lifestyle is becoming a habit & i don't feel deprived or miserable at all. I don't want you to be miserable in your journey either!

  3. My marinara was less than 200 calories but a serving of the meal itself was about 434. Didn't want you to think the entire meal was less than 200 calories! LOL! I just meant the marinara! HAHA.

  4. Thanks ladies. I was feeling pretty low when I wrote that post. But your words helped me to feel better. We are definitely rethinking the Atkins diet. And thanks Melissa. I'm looking forward to checking out your recipe!