I mentioned on my last post that I'll be going on vacation in August. We're heading to a resort that has tons of opportunities for water sports. My husband can't wait to try the jet skies. I love to swim. And we're planning on renting a boat one day as well.
But I'm so self-conscious that I don't always have much fun when it comes to summertime. I spend most of my time indoors instead of in the water where I'd rather be. I wish I felt differently. I wish I was as empowered as some of the women commenting on this post, which couldn't have come at a better time for me.
I just don't feel comfortable with my body. I'm embarrassed. And I feel like everyone stares at the fat girl. That's why I love The Fat Girl's Guide to Living blog. They've covered some topics that I've always wondered about. Like going to an amusement or water park, riding a horse or a bicycle. Can I do it? The resort we're staying at has a weight limit of 260 for the horseback riding, so in this case, the answer is no.
Even with their encouragement, I still can't get over my self-consciousness. It seems prideful really, to think that everyone is paying attention to me when they have better things to do, i.e. have fun! In the rational part of my brain, I know that everyone has their own worries about their bodies and they're not paying me any attention. The irrational part of my brain has control though.
Reading the posts on the FGG do make me feel better about myself, especially while reading them, but I still haven't figured out how to adapt their advice to the real world.